wow. I have a lot of negatives. not negatives like no, never, not, don't and shouldn't. but picture negatives.
still with me?
it becomes more apparent when trying to go through four years worth to find the one you need to enter into the amateur photo competition.
spoon's totally rockin' stay don't go definitely eases the pain though.
at times you find that the truth is the best way out
sometimes telling the truth is the best way out
and it's the wrong words that make you prick up your ears
when later alone
confession is stay don't go
ooh it is
ooh now stay don't go
sorry. had to get that out of my system.
j.k.a [+]
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
I went out to buy some chairs but they didn't have the ones I wanted, so I bought a tree instead. a chinese money tree, to be exact, and it promises to bring me and my house good fortune.
I could live with that.
too bad there's no such thing as a jones soda tree......
j.k.a [+]
Sunday, February 29, 2004
oh my
you must all stop whatever you're doing and go play this
j.k.a [+]
the pastor this morning was asking us if we remembered the first time we fell in love, how you thought about that person all the time, and you could hardly wait for recess so you could talk to them...ect, ect.
of course, being homeschooled, I really couldn't comment on that at all.
j.k.a [+]
Saturday, February 28, 2004
number one on the charts according to dwayne is.........micheal jackson's greatest hits? work will never be the same.
j.k.a [+]
does anyone know what the number for the society of safe return of grocery carts is? 'cause I woke up this morning with one in my driveway....
j.k.a [+]
Thursday, February 26, 2004
in the air
suppose it was reaction
and maybe ten feet tall
but so what?
when was the last time
a name sprung to your lips that fast?
it meant everything to sunlit dust
and nothing to me.
picture perfect
a life that you saw in a magazine
or maybe a travelling book
wanted to get on that plane and fly away
'cuz you are a rock star deep down inside
you walk with a swagger, got nothing to hide
cigarette in your mouth, a cuff on your jeans
your sideburns are perfect, you're perfect and lean
.....
please bring me along
please bring me along
because I want to see everything
you have to offer me
my landlord has given me an old kirby vacuum cleaner. he said his wife has been begging him to get rid of it, but it's such a good little machine that he couldn't bear to just throw it out.
I love it.
it has a light in the front that illuminates the carpet ahead, so you can really see all those hard to get dust particles and it sounds like a small train. it wouldn't win any "light and agile" competitions that's for sure, but it reminds me of the grumpy vacuum in the brave little toaster, and how could you not be happy with something like that?
your hand won't write, not tonight,
but your mind may wander
into those deep lagoons that you know
and your boat will go, by starlight alone
"da da da da da da da da"
you sang to the moon
in the great black night with no lodestar,
in sight
lately it sorta feels like when I type in here that the sound echos so loud that it shatters everything I write, sending these little spinters flying in all directions and then...... it's gone.
j.k.a [+]
looking through design magazines always seems to spur my imagination forwards.....and with thanks to some helpful friends, the draft for my loft has been made.
right now it's solidified only in pen and ink, with a few colour samples taped to it for authenticity. but eventually, it will be a reality, and it will be cool.
blanket apologies to all those I should be e-mailing, phoning, im-ing, hanging out with, ect. the only think I can think of at the moment is sleep, and getting my poor plants some water before they all die.
I feel so...neglectful....bah, I need spring!
j.k.a [+]
flighty
historically, the days grew longer
and thoughts grew sharper
or more quiet.
it all depended on the way
fatigue draped over collars in diagonal lines
and traveled with such light steps.
j.k.a [+]
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
spelt isn't a word? isn't it like spelled in the past tense?
sheesh.
I should have gone with my first inclination and never written that post at all. it has revealed me to be a fraud.
j.k.a [+]
it was sorta like some "where's waldo" hunt, but at last I have found all the errors. see the thing about spellcheck, is it only flags words spelt wrong, not words spelt right used out of context.
j.k.a [+]
so I went out with some friends tonight, and I could have ordered iced tea or something, but no. instead I order not one, but two cups of coffee.
and it's midnight, and I am WIDE awake.
on a good note, that's twice now that I haven't been asked for id. I must be looking older.
"yes you do. if the cheque was made payable to you, I could accept that. but this cheque is made payable to a business."
"you know, you're the only one who has made this difficult."
"I'm sorry to cause you inconvience. if you are able to go back to the issuer of the cheque and have them re-issue one in your name, I'd be more than happy to cash it for you."
morning came so quick, I set my alarm for another half hour and fell back into bliss. I dragged myself out of bed, and was ready for work twenty minutes later. dang, I thought to myself, I could have slept for another half hour.
so I turned on cjtr instead, and have been almost able to convince myself that getting to listen to more of it is worth it. black rebel motor cycle club, the thrills, the dears.....just keeps going.
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay monday.
I shoulda used an exclamation mark there, but I would have hurt myself on behalf of everyone else then. no one is that enthusiastic, even me.
getting used to
reluctant limits and safety nets
like an unreasonable child
thrashes in the aisles waving small fists
grown ups with grocery carts
smile patronizingly
and eventually forgotten the tears leave streaks
in sticky kool aid grins
j.k.a [+]
birds of a feather
"hey dwayne, look at all the pigeons perched up on the peak of the windows!"
"huh? all the pigeons? darc, there's only two."
"I know, but it's two more than I've ever seen up there before."
I woke up just in time watch the sun rise, with my head resting on the arm of my favorite chair and the wisps of clouds a soft pink.
it felt so good, just to sit.
it reminded me of change, and how trying to forget the things you love isn't always the answer.
j.k.a [+]
Friday, February 13, 2004
I miss the house with wood siding. it stood everyday at the same corner, giggling with some secret. I pretended to ignore it completely, though I hated to be laughed at.
it still winks once in a while, but not as often from under it's disguise.
first we'd climb a tree and maybe then we'd talk
or sit silently and listen to our thoughts
with illusions of someday casting a golden light
no dress rehearsal, this is our life
that's when the hornet stung me and I had a feverish dream
with revenge and doubt tonight we smoke them out
she thought it was funny how you could always feel the instant your insides started hardening. a sharp intake of air, that first tense of your heart. the precarious few moments while you wait to set.
and then, nothing.
a smirk of evasion, the sweet relief of stone. even if your breathing was more shallow after that.
j.k.a [+]
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
light failing over the pole
as every longitude leads
up to your frostbitten feet
oh, you're very sweet
thank you for the flowers
and the book by derrida
but I must be getting back
to dear antarctica
say do have a ship, and a dozen able men
that maybe you could lend me?
"tough crowd this morning, huh?" my coworker says after the relay event I had planned for our rrsp meeting was met with an outright refusal to participate.
"yeah." I say. "if I would have known the toothpicks were going to freak them all out so much, I would have used skewers instead."
it must have come out a bit more evil than intended, because she patted my shoulder and gave me a look of approval.
travis was kind enough to share some oranges with me, which someone was kind enough to share with him. apparently, it will stop us from dying of malnutrition caused by a constant diet of mall food.
I can feel the vitamin c saving my life right now.
funny things, oranges. I eat them normal now, but as a kid I never liked the white rind. in fact, I would painstakingly peel as much of it as I could off of every section before it got anywhere near my mouth. it took a long time to do this, and my mom would watch for as long as she could stand and then finally she would tell me just to eat it already, it wasn't going to kill me. but I knew better.
the only thing worse than that is those little christmas oranges, or worse than that, canned little christmas orange sections. my grandma makes orange jello salads at christmas and to this day, just the smell of canned oranges makes me shudder.
I like orange juice. the really thick pulpy kind. runny orange juice is for kids. orange julius are also good.
I used to want to move to somewhere warm and sunny and have my very own orange grove, after I read a book about a girl who did that once. but not like that girl in the movie identity. she died, and I don't want to grow oranges that much.
the crowded entrance smells like wet mittens and impatience. people shuffle restlessly as a young mother frantically tries to shush a shrieking infant, and a few escape into the swirling white, figuring fighting the storm has better odds.
minutes pass. ten, twenty. forty-five.
buses are stuck all over the city, someone says. a collective groan goes up. guess it's time to order pizza, one man jokes. no one else seems to think it's very funny. the air is getting stifling, and I step outside myself just to feel some clean air in my lungs.
I debate walking home, but the biting snow changes my mind and I head back inside to stick it out a while longer. should have remembered my mittens and scarf when I left this morning, I chide myself.
finally, number ten pulls up and a weary looking driver barely glances at my pass when I show him. he nods and I head for a seat near the back. a client from the bank spots me and we make small talk for a few minutes before lapsing into a tired silence.
the blocks seem to take forever, but finally I grab the line and the the light flashes next stop.
"love the sandwich....work with it......work with it....that's it. now, you are happy.......you are jolly....... you are frolicking in the snow!....with the sandwich?"
the thursday morning guy from cjtr has taken quite a drop in my approval rating, for snubbing me and idlewild saturday morning.
we were having a music crisis at work, so I went and nabbed idlewild's the remote part cause it had just come in.
as he rung it through he gave the cover a somewhat snobbish glance and announced he had never heard of them. I said they were pretty good, from scotland.
oh, he says. that explains it. I don't listen to brit-pop.
I bristled at that and I'm sure my eyes narrowed.
I don't either, I said evenly.
maybe it was the steely glint in my eye or the set of my jaw, but I think he could sense that he was one foot insertion away from an angry discourse on the right of a female to exceed the taste of one male radio host, without having to suffer through open persecution for her belief.
yes, he was a wise man to choose not to continue.
besides, when I have my own show, I'll be cooler than him anyway.
I became an heiress
to a rusty-handled bicycle
built like a tank from sears and roebuck
circa, ninteen fifty-two
it had been entrusted to me
by my late great uncle pat,
but I guess, he didn't ride it much
cause both tires on the bike were flat
so I took the bike and I cleaned it off
my father he patched up the tires
and now I'm riding around just spinning the wheels
and when I die I wonder how it feels
I could post things all day, but then I might be late for work. and maybe I was late twice this week, which broke all sorts of records for personal irresponsiblity, so maybe that means I'd better leave.
but there is always enough time to stop and get a jones soda, and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.
j.k.a [+]
whew. I definitely just had a very bad dream. when I realized I was awake I found myself trying to find the phone to call for help....
I know in my dream that some lady had come at midnight and given me a cell phone, saying that I would need it, and then all this really scary stuff started to happen, and I couldn't figure out how to use the phone. then I heard screaming, and can't remember if it was in my dream or what woke me up.
so boo to that, and hello nightlight.
anyhow, I think I'm slightly less freaked out now. time to be brave and go back to sleep....
I accidentally touched my head
and noticed that I had been bleeding
for how long I didn't know
what was this, I thought
that struck me
what kind of weapons have they got?
the softest bullet ever shot
I stood up and I said Yeah!
my mom's weekly "so are you dating anyone, oh-romantically challenged daughter of mine"? phone calls are oddly comforting amidst their annoyingness. I know she really only has my best in mind.......I think...
j.k.a [+]
Sunday, February 01, 2004
momentary
I don't want to be forgotten
as your eyes slide closed
when you talk about the things
that make no sense ( or perfect sense)
forgive me if I seem a little hesitant
but who wants to end up as a regret
we're in the middle of the worst storm this province has seen in a looooong time. most of the city has shut down. even walmart closed early. when walmart closes, you know it's gotta be bad. we are a hardy lot, and usually don't cater to the whims of mother nature that easily.
if this keeps up, we might get snowed in for the first time in my life, and I won't have to work tomorrow. although, we weren't allowed to close the store up early tonight like the rest of the mall. we had to stick it out cause our head office is silly and more worried about the sales we might lose if we went home for something so trivial as the weather. we can actually be fined if we leave.
but since everyone was in the mall in the middle of a blizzard, we made a ton on money and everyone went home safe and happy.
actually, we made no sales and spent the evening prank calling the other few stores that were still open, and hoped the buses would still be running when we were done, so we wouldn't have to risk life and skin in the bitter cold.
so the moral of the story is....... stubborn bus drivers are angels in disguise, because they ignored their bosses telling them to go home, so that we could.
take this silver linging
keep it in your own, sweet head
shine it when the night is burning red
shine it in the twilight
shine it in on the cold, cold ground
shine it till these walls come tumbling down
and now I can go to sleep happy. happy that I have discovered yet another adjective, to covey that fact that I have not been getting enough sleep or warmth, and it has made me cranky.
j.k.a [+]
I have a mixer. my co-worker gave it to me 'cause she got a new one and didn't need this one anymore. it's fantastic. I feel so....domestic..... and want to make cakes and pies and mix stuff.
maybe this "you have the living habits of a bachelor" gal is about to turn over a new leaf....
j.k.a [+]
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
how cold is it in saskatchewan?
it is so cold...
- even the t-t-text m-m-messaging on the cell phone st-st-st-stutters.
- every now and then, you stop dead in your tracks, press your palm to the corner of your forehead, stomp your foot and wail like a banshee -- another one of those confounded ice-cream headaches, except these days from respiration.
- digging into the fourth geological sub-strata of the glaciolacustrine plain, the Wascana Lake excavation crew strikes gopher.
- nothing is more depressing than that taunting "wish-you-were-here" postcard from the relatives vacationing down south. well. lah dee dah. like they're the first people ever to set foot in Minot.
- saskatoon has a seasonal change of delusion, switching from its self-declared tourism nickname "Paris of the Prairies" to "Rio de Janeiro of the Sub-arctic."
- absolute zero -- theoretically the lowest temperature at which matter can have -- is for the first time ever a concept of physics around which you can actually wrap your mind, no longer just your pet name for the brother-in- law.
- sun dog set: 5:40 p.m. sun dog rise: 8:42 a.m.
- in the meantime: what the...? moon dogs?
- drive from home to mall parking lot: 16 kilometres an hour. dash from car to mall entrance: 23 kilometres an hour.
- for lack of any better entertainment, you take to ridiculing your toes, telling them that they're fat and ugly and stupid. hey, it's not like they have feelings.
- wind-chill update: exposed flesh is frozen faster than Martha Stewart's assets in a securities investigation.
- you run into an old friend downtown -- literally, because you are trot-walking backward into the wind. worst of all, during the collision you chip your best parka.
- vi-co, fudgsicle; fudgsicle, vi-co. whatever.
- suspect descriptions on Crime Stopper end: "...and was last seen wearing a balaclava...duh!"
- pizza joints guarantee deliver in 30 minutes or it's free defrosting.
- temperature nears the record lows set on Nov. 26, 1966, and again on Nov. 26, 1989, both times, as predicted, in hell.
the way we console ourselves
oh, tell me you remember how
lying still with me by your side
we used to grow into forever
and gaze for hours at nothing
it was the best time of our lives
